Usually during my drive to work I flip back and forth between two radio stations. I love the Z100 Morning Show- I think the DJs are incredibly funny and I usually find myself smiling or even laughing aloud to their banter. I'm not a huge fan of most of the music they play, however, and who can stand ANY type of radio commercial I don't know, so I find myself flipping to WFAN, a sports station. While I love the FAN in the afternoon, I am not a "fan" of the morning show. I'm sorry, I just don't want my sports with a side of sexism and the morning guys are the worst. In spite of this, sometimes I will listen to avoid hearing a techno re-make of a song that was not-so-great to begin with.
Well, during a commercial break for Z100 yesterday morning, I decided to check in on Boomer and Carton (said morning DJs on WFAN) and I reached my breaking point. They were talking about lap dances and strip clubs and I just thought, "I'm not going to listen to this. This is not how I'm going to start my day." So I purposefully flipped back to FM and turned the dial to 99.1- a Christian station that I knew of, but to which I had never listened.
There was a small group of people discussing this time of Lent and some of the practices that we, as Christians, try to observe. In particular, they focused on fasting and the real meaning of the sacrifice. One of the men asked the group about some of the things that people go to throughout the day to help them make it through. The others mentioned coffee, sweets, snacks, etc. He challenged them to, instead of relying on things of this nature, to turn to God. He explained that whatever we eat on this earth, we will still be hungry, but if we are hungry for God and seek Him out, we will be filled. Fasting is a practice which helps us not use outside sources as a crutch. It forces us to look within us and see what it is that we really want.
Why is this important? Well, because on Sunday I had had a classic junk food binge fest- the kind of which I have been apt to have at least monthly for years. I ate myself sick. I split two bags of potato chips with my husband (sweet onion and cheddar kettle cooked- yum). I had four Reese's peanut butter cups. Then we ordered Chinese food and I nearly finished my entire beef with broccoli/pork fried rice/egg roll combo platter. Oh, and on the day before I didn't have any Reese's peanut butter cups in the house, so you know what I did? I ate straight-up peanut butter with chocolate chips. A lot of it. Gross, right?
I had eaten way past the point of satiating my hunger. I just wanted more. Of course you know that I never really felt satisfied, but did end up feeling incredibly sick, not to mention the guilt that I felt even while I was doing this. No matter how much junk I had, it was never enough.
What would happen if I could recognize the fact that I don't really want all that junk? What if when I had these cravings I had the strength to seek out something that actually would fill me up? I truly feel that I was meant to hear that radio message on that day. I found myself smiling, looking up and saying, "You. You're good. You are very good" ala Robert DiNiro in "Analyze This."
It's funny how God works sometimes.
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