Each day when I come into work I set up my computer so that I have my Gmail, Hotmail, school email, and Blogger open and next to each other so that I can check them each incessantly throughout the day. I get so frustrated when my "dashboard" of blogs doesn't change for a week. I mean, c'mon! I want my friends to entertain me! :) And yet, here I am waaaay overdue for a new post. Life just takes over so quickly.
Last week I was sick. Miserably sick with a sinus infection. On Monday I just couldn't move off of the couch. I still have lingering effects going on and it makes me think that I never fully appreciate when I am well. It also made me think that anyone can "do the right thing" when they are feeling 100%, but your character really shows when you have to do things when you are not 100%. I need to work on that. But I digress...
Upon scanning my profile last week out of boredom, since there were no new postings to be found, I saw that I actually have a follower! (Hi Bmart!) I was shocked and not a little terrified- what do you mean I'm not invisible anymore?! I also spilled to my husband that I have been blogging- and he was a little shocked himself! I feel that this discovery of my blogging comes at a poignant and appropriate moment.
To expain, I cantor at my home church a couple of times a month. At one particular Mass at which I sang, actually the first Sunday of Lent, the celebrant was a priest who sometimes would help out at our church. He was vaguely familiar to me but I couldn't remember his name, so I introduced myself and shook his hand. I'll call him Fr. R.
During Fr. R's homily, he asked the congregation if anyone had a blog. Maybe one hand went up (it was tough to see from sitting behind the pulpit). He then proceeded to ask how many people were involved on Facebook, Twitter, and other social networks. Of course most of the congregation admitted that they spent time each day on at least one of these. He then asked us to consider using this technology for our Lenten purposes. Why not post what it is that you are doing for Lent or documenting your journey. He encouraged us not to hide our faith but to proclaim it. Thus, the seed for this blog was planted.
Tragically, Fr. R suffered a massive heart attack and passed away on a New York City street two weeks ago. I did not know him well, but his words that day spoke to me and inspired me and for that I will always be grateful to him. If you are reading this right now, please say a prayer for him, that he is with God today.
In honor of Fr. R, I will not keep my blog a secret any longer- I will not be embarrassed to let at least the people I love know what I've been up to. Thanks, Fr. R., for this opportunity, and this one is for you.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
On the radio...
Usually during my drive to work I flip back and forth between two radio stations. I love the Z100 Morning Show- I think the DJs are incredibly funny and I usually find myself smiling or even laughing aloud to their banter. I'm not a huge fan of most of the music they play, however, and who can stand ANY type of radio commercial I don't know, so I find myself flipping to WFAN, a sports station. While I love the FAN in the afternoon, I am not a "fan" of the morning show. I'm sorry, I just don't want my sports with a side of sexism and the morning guys are the worst. In spite of this, sometimes I will listen to avoid hearing a techno re-make of a song that was not-so-great to begin with.
Well, during a commercial break for Z100 yesterday morning, I decided to check in on Boomer and Carton (said morning DJs on WFAN) and I reached my breaking point. They were talking about lap dances and strip clubs and I just thought, "I'm not going to listen to this. This is not how I'm going to start my day." So I purposefully flipped back to FM and turned the dial to 99.1- a Christian station that I knew of, but to which I had never listened.
There was a small group of people discussing this time of Lent and some of the practices that we, as Christians, try to observe. In particular, they focused on fasting and the real meaning of the sacrifice. One of the men asked the group about some of the things that people go to throughout the day to help them make it through. The others mentioned coffee, sweets, snacks, etc. He challenged them to, instead of relying on things of this nature, to turn to God. He explained that whatever we eat on this earth, we will still be hungry, but if we are hungry for God and seek Him out, we will be filled. Fasting is a practice which helps us not use outside sources as a crutch. It forces us to look within us and see what it is that we really want.
Why is this important? Well, because on Sunday I had had a classic junk food binge fest- the kind of which I have been apt to have at least monthly for years. I ate myself sick. I split two bags of potato chips with my husband (sweet onion and cheddar kettle cooked- yum). I had four Reese's peanut butter cups. Then we ordered Chinese food and I nearly finished my entire beef with broccoli/pork fried rice/egg roll combo platter. Oh, and on the day before I didn't have any Reese's peanut butter cups in the house, so you know what I did? I ate straight-up peanut butter with chocolate chips. A lot of it. Gross, right?
I had eaten way past the point of satiating my hunger. I just wanted more. Of course you know that I never really felt satisfied, but did end up feeling incredibly sick, not to mention the guilt that I felt even while I was doing this. No matter how much junk I had, it was never enough.
What would happen if I could recognize the fact that I don't really want all that junk? What if when I had these cravings I had the strength to seek out something that actually would fill me up? I truly feel that I was meant to hear that radio message on that day. I found myself smiling, looking up and saying, "You. You're good. You are very good" ala Robert DiNiro in "Analyze This."
It's funny how God works sometimes.
Well, during a commercial break for Z100 yesterday morning, I decided to check in on Boomer and Carton (said morning DJs on WFAN) and I reached my breaking point. They were talking about lap dances and strip clubs and I just thought, "I'm not going to listen to this. This is not how I'm going to start my day." So I purposefully flipped back to FM and turned the dial to 99.1- a Christian station that I knew of, but to which I had never listened.
There was a small group of people discussing this time of Lent and some of the practices that we, as Christians, try to observe. In particular, they focused on fasting and the real meaning of the sacrifice. One of the men asked the group about some of the things that people go to throughout the day to help them make it through. The others mentioned coffee, sweets, snacks, etc. He challenged them to, instead of relying on things of this nature, to turn to God. He explained that whatever we eat on this earth, we will still be hungry, but if we are hungry for God and seek Him out, we will be filled. Fasting is a practice which helps us not use outside sources as a crutch. It forces us to look within us and see what it is that we really want.
Why is this important? Well, because on Sunday I had had a classic junk food binge fest- the kind of which I have been apt to have at least monthly for years. I ate myself sick. I split two bags of potato chips with my husband (sweet onion and cheddar kettle cooked- yum). I had four Reese's peanut butter cups. Then we ordered Chinese food and I nearly finished my entire beef with broccoli/pork fried rice/egg roll combo platter. Oh, and on the day before I didn't have any Reese's peanut butter cups in the house, so you know what I did? I ate straight-up peanut butter with chocolate chips. A lot of it. Gross, right?
I had eaten way past the point of satiating my hunger. I just wanted more. Of course you know that I never really felt satisfied, but did end up feeling incredibly sick, not to mention the guilt that I felt even while I was doing this. No matter how much junk I had, it was never enough.
What would happen if I could recognize the fact that I don't really want all that junk? What if when I had these cravings I had the strength to seek out something that actually would fill me up? I truly feel that I was meant to hear that radio message on that day. I found myself smiling, looking up and saying, "You. You're good. You are very good" ala Robert DiNiro in "Analyze This."
It's funny how God works sometimes.
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